￼￼Some people are good savers. Regardless of how much they earn they always seem to have money set aside for special occasions and rainy days. Others, even when they have a good income, seem to be permanently broke and waiting for the next pay cheque. You probably recognise which you are.
A new study has found that more and more people have an account or credit card hidden from their partner. Money secrets can be just as harmful to a relationship as cheating. Interesting article by Anna Maxted about financial infidelity in The Times, with commentary from Simonne Gnessen.
Flic Everett, 46, is in debt, has no pension and does not own her own property, so she put her trust in me to help her get a grip on her finances, and to improve her relationship to money.
This article in the FeMail gives you Flic’s account of what she got out of our sessions and from the work she prepared in advance of us meeting. It also gives you insight into what goes on in a coaching session and some of the exercises I use.
I want to share with you the most profound and inspirational story about one of my clients. She first came to see me just over 3 years ago, having inherited money and wanting to experience self-empowerment. Her wish was to do something with the money which was meaningful to her. To extract purpose and meaning from the money that was not entangled in emotional connections to money in her family. She was aware that over time her relationship with the money had become tense and uncomfortable, sometimes tainted by shame and guilt - she wanted to heal this along the way.
I'm thrilled by the progress she's made. The way that her relationship with money has changed. How she has carefully and methodically selected the right investment approach, and advice, to have confidence that her money is working well for her and aligned to her goals and integrity. How she is gaining confidence in her understanding of the complex financial landscape. And is standing in her power in so many different ways.
But, I'm especially proud of ...
Having worked with clients in a coaching capacity for over 15 years now, I know that Financial Coaching changes people’s lives for the better. Often the reason for someone’s money problems is rooted in their relationship with, and attitudes towards, money rather than their knowledge and understanding of finance.
What I also know is that unfortunately the vast majority of people still don’t know that financial support outside of traditional advice exists.
That’s why I was delighted when ELLE, the world’s best-selling fashion magazine, asked to come and experience a Financial Coaching session.
You can read Alex Holder’s full write-up here: Meet the money doctor who will change your life.
Happy International Women's Day!
I'm getting really excited about taking part in the WOW Festival this weekend. I'll be there 3-4pm on Friday as part of a panel discussing risk, exposure and resilience. And also delivering a worksop 'Getting Personal with Finance' 3-4pm on Saturday, where I'll be taking women through the 7 Laws of Sheconomics and answering audience questions.
Passes for the festival are now sold out, but come and see me if you're there! @WOWtweetUK #WOWLDN
I transitioned from being a traditional financial adviser to a financial coach partly as a result of asking myself this question: 'Why don’t we do what we know we need to do?'. I became interested in opening my doors to people who had challenges and blocks when it comes to money. My research since then has been focussed on ways I can provide, not only practical solutions, but also address the obstacles that get in the way of financial success.
That was why I became interested in the ‘Do Something Different (DSD)’ approach. Professor Karen Pine, with whom I co-wrote Sheconomics, is one of the founders.
DSD have created a range of innovative online behaviour change programmes, designed by Psychology Professors and delivered by text and email. Each cost only £14 for a 6 week programme. The principle behind it is that...
I was interviewed by a journalist recently who wanted to write an article about ‘financial therapy’ - a combination of financial advice and therapy for unhelpful money behaviours - that is currently popular in the US.
The article - Do you need financial therapy? – was published by The Guardian this week. While I don’t describe myself as a therapist, my work often involves helping clients address the emotions they experience surrounding the subject of money and helping shift unconscious patterns of behaviour around money.
As well as interviewing me about my work, we did some work on the journalist’s relationship with money so that she could experience what I do. She’d never before given much thought to her relationship with money.
What was revealing was that she can get herself out of trouble but can’t maintain that forward momentum once it no longer feels like a problem. We did an exercise where I got her to personify her relationship with money, and what came to her was ambivalence, disinterest and discomfort about engaging with money. We realised that her focus was on survival: getting through the month, paying off debts, but not on thriving.
I always find it interesting how often we hold ourselves back. How often female clients, in particular, voice their concern over feeling like a fraud professionally despite sincere recognition from the outside world and extensive experience within their profession. Yet, despite that external acknowlegment, internally there's something else going on.
I've noticed that many of us experience an internal conflict. While a part of us knows who we are and what we're capable of, at some level, another part may believe the complete opposite. 'Who am I to achieve/desire/deserve that?’. Sometimes it feels like there’s a fight going on inside with both parts vying for attention and neither getting heard.
I do a lot of work with this in relation to people’s behaviour around money. One part of you ...
Spring has sprung and this April has brought us not only sunshine, but something even brighter - big changes in pensions!
Fundamental reforms, introduced in the 2014 Budget, come into effect this month. But if you don't have a clue what these changes are, you're not alone. To understand the implications, we need to take a step back and clarify some pension jargon. There are two main structures of pension provision....
The first is known as ‘defined contribution’, or ‘money purchase’ where you, the employer, or both, pay in a set amount each month. The fund grows and you end up with a pot of money at retirement. But the size of this pot isn’t fixed - it depends on how much is put in when, investment returns, charges etc. And the pension income you end up receiving is unknown until you start drawing from this pension pot.
The second structure is a ‘defined benefit scheme’, known as a ‘final salary pension’, which pays out a guaranteed level of pension income based on your income when you retire and the number of years you’ve been working.
Most people today are in a ‘defined contribution’ scheme, and the current reforms are mostly in relation to this. So what’s changed?...
I was chatting to my hairdresser the other day, having the conversation we’re all having at this time of year: “You all set for Christmas? Done your shopping yet?” She said she was all ready, excited for her young children aged 7 and 10, and revealed that her budget was £500 per child.
I left the hairdresser reeling a bit from this figure, and the wider implications of that kind of spend. It set me thinking about what we’re actually giving our children at Christmas. Every parcel under the Christmas tree is wrapped not just in sparkly paper and ribbons, but in many layers of belief and attitudes and values. While the actual presents may soon be forgotten, these extra layers often stay with people for their whole lives – affecting how they deal with money, love and giving in adulthood.
It's these beliefs and attitudes...
The words ‘money’ and ‘worries’ go together so often they can seem inseparable. For many people, their relationship with money is fraught with anxiety. In Sheconomics we talk about ‘Money Anxiety Disorder’ (MAD) – a fixation with money worries and a persistent sensation of simply not having enough. I also come across something I call ‘net worth anxiety’ – where people assess themselves at a certain stage of life and compare themselves to friends or colleagues or to their own expectations, and feel that they’ve fallen behind.
Money worries can leave you trapped in a relentless cycle of anxiety.
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon.
I was just standing in a queue in a newsagent where the guy in front of me was buying a lottery ticket, reflecting on a conversation I had this morning with a client. He was telling me about a book called 'The Big Leap' where the author, Gay Hendricks, talks about how fear and excitement create the same sensations in our body, but that we try to get rid of the feeling of fear by holding our breath. Excitement can also turn into fear by holding our breath - just think 'rollercoaster rides'!
Instead, he suggests, that...
Are you interested in creating a money breakthrough in your life or business?
I'm excited to be taking part in a fabulous FREE online event, run by my friend Helen Vandenberghe, alongside 19 other experts. My interview airs on Wednesday 27th August at 10am GMT, so register now to tune in! Register at http://www.getclientsfast.net. Or use this link to direct you straight to the teleseminar: http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=57994617.
My session will help you discover how to:
- Apply the 7 Laws of Sheconomics to your business
- Challenge your emotions and beliefs about money
- Embrace looking at the numbers
- Make your money fit with your life plan
- Break the taboo of talking
- about money
- Take action to secure your future
And there's a special offer for those who tune in on the day.
We can learn a lot from other people's experiences. Here's some recent money lessons that clients have shared:
Behavioural economics explores why people sometimes make irrational decisions. Laurie's TED Talk shows how monkeys make the same mistakes as we do when it comes to money.
Read on for some other interesting TED talks on the topic of our relationship with money...
By Marianne Curphey
Published: 15 April 2014
Think about the last time you went shopping for no particular reason. Perhaps it was a sunny Saturday afternoon, maybe just after hearing some excellent news. Or maybe it was a rainy, cold day, and you had just been through a breakup. Whether you're fuelling your good disposition or aiming to make yourself feel better, your mood has more impact on your spending than you may think. But there are ways to fight the urge to splurge.
My interview with Wired For Success TV, talking about my pioneering approach to helping people deal with their finances and tackle their
relationship with money. Boy, do I blink a lot!
You have the choice of watching a videoed recording or listening to a podcast of the interview.
I’ve found myself mentioning Maria Nemeth’s work quite a bit to clients recently. She wrote a compassionate and empowering book in 1997 called ‘The Energy of Money’ and she talks about success being ‘doing what you say you’re going to do in life, with clarity, ease, focus, and grace’.
The same goes for financial success. In other words, it’s not about how much money you have in the bank, or invested in property, pensions and ISAs. Or anything to do with where you go on holiday, whether your kids are privately educated and whether or not you can afford a cleaner or shop in Waitrose. It’s about moment by moment decisions where you do what you said you were going to do with money, with clarity, focus, ease and grace.
Are you someone who doesn’t live up to your earning potential? Try our Sheconomics quiz to find out.
Women in particular often undervalue their worth and dread asking for pay rises or increasing their rates. We happily give away our time and skills at bargain prices because we don’t trust that we’re worth more.
If you can identify with this, here’s a trick to help you convince yourself that you’re worth whatever you want to earn:
After two years of fun writing, we're excited to say that Sheconomics, is finally on the bookshelves! We were lucky enough to get a double page spread in The Times about the book, written by Carol Midgley.
If you don't subscribe to The Times you won't be able to read the article in full, so here it is...