Rethinking Festive Spending
I was delighted to be interviewed for a recent Money Ready article on creating a healthier festive money mindset. You can read the full piece here.
It’s a thoughtful overview of how early money messages, cultural pressures and our emotional patterns shape the way we spend at Christmas - and why so many of us find this season harder than we’d like to admit. I wanted to share a few more reflections on the theme - drawn from years of coaching people through the emotional side of money, and from the conversations I have every December with clients who feel torn between wanting to create joy and wanting to stay financially grounded.
How consumerism shapes our idea of a “good” Christmas
The pull of consumerism at this time of year is strong. We’re surrounded by messages that a “proper Christmas” involves overflowing stockings, a picture-perfect dinner table and mountains of presents under the tree.
It’s no wonder so many of us end up spending reactively - not out of intention, but out of fear that anything less means we’ve fallen short.
But Christmas isn’t a performance. It’s an opportunity to ask ourselves what actually matters: connection, presence, rest, laughter, the small rituals that feel grounding. Those rarely have a price tag.
It’s something I’ve written about before in the context of what we give our children at Christmas, beyond the gifts themselves. If you haven’t seen that earlier blog, you can find it here.
Gift giving is only one language of love
In the article, I touched on how gift-giving can easily become confused with love, especially for those who grew up in families where the two were tightly woven together. And while gifts can be meaningful, they’re only one way of expressing affection.
Many of us show love through words, time, physical touch, shared experiences, acts of kindness. When we forget that, we place enormous pressure on ourselves - and often on our bank accounts - to prove our care materially.
It’s worth asking: what are the other ways I already show love? And which of those might matter even more than what’s wrapped under the tree?
The fear of being the one who breaks tradition
A pattern I see often in coaching sessions is the fear of suggesting something different - spending less, introducing a Secret Santa, or simplifying the day.
People worry they’ll disappoint others or “ruin” Christmas by challenging the usual way of doing things. But when someone finally voices the need for change, they’re often surprised by how relieved others feel. Many families are quietly craving a calmer, less expensive Christmas but don’t know how to start that conversation.
Questions that can help guide your choices
Here are some gentle prompts I often use with clients to help them reconnect with what feels right for them:
- If I took everyone else's expectations out of the picture, what would I actually choose this year?
- What do I want this season to feel like - relaxed, joyful, connected?
- What would “enough” look like for us?
- If I wasn’t expressing love through money, how might I express it instead?
These questions help shift the focus from doing what we’ve always done to doing what aligns with our values.
If this season feels overwhelming
If you’re feeling stretched financially or emotionally, please know you’re not alone. Christmas can stir up old patterns, anxieties and expectations. A simpler Christmas is still a real Christmas. A less expensive one can be a deeply meaningful one. These are exactly the kinds of conversations I support clients with - exploring money beliefs, finding new choices, and creating a relationship with money that feels calmer and more aligned.
If you’d like help exploring these themes more personally, or if the article brought something up for you, feel free to get in touch.
And in the meantime, I wish you a season that feels grounding and joyful.
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